June 6, 2005
So I hear that the wedding dinner(1) last night was joyous? A good occasion?
That’s good. Your other aunties told me the food was not so good. I suppose the hotel ballroom was very nice? Very elegant? And your aunty must have been in very good spirits! Even without sleep for nights preparing for this wedding.
You know your aunty has very good fortune in life. She was always very hearty and never fell ill seriously – she won’t get sore throats from eating heaty things, or stomachache from eating cold things. Like you, you see? Also like me.
It’s a lucky thing to have a sturdy and hearty health. People in the Old Village were all like this – they had to be, because there was so much work to be done around the house. You couldn’t take a day off because you were sick – a day off meant nothing to eat! So having many children was a good thing – with more children to help around the house, you could have a chance to rest.
But frankly, there were few that had the ability to feed more than one child. You know in the Old Village, everytime someone had a son, they hung lanterns out in front of their doors, and they’d hire cooks to cater a banquet for everyone in the village! EVERYBODY is invited, whether closely or distantly related, friends and neighbors and farmers and labourers. The quality of the food and the number of tables told people how welcome this new child is in the home, and how much the family is prepared to spend on his upbringing. So when it comes “hanging-lantern-dinner”, some families would spare no expense! Sometimes you had to refill the tables with more food, because people were so happy celebrating they’d forget to go home. Then the family would have to pay extra for more cooks, or send them running into the village market for more groceries
Sometimes family would go into debt, that’s how much they would be spending on these celebratory dinners. They forget how much they’d have to spend to raise a child, and just spent their time and money on that one dinner… some families would save money over a few years, and wait until the child was older before they’d have the hanging-lantern-dinner. Remember that they’d have one dinner per son that was born to the house! So some villagers were in so much debt, that the poorer folks in the village had a running half-joke… “Bear the second son, sell the elder son”. Supposedly to pay for the hanging-lantern-dinner for the second son!
The villagers were like that – very strange way of thinking. Certain things to them were indisputable – had to be done, no two ways about it. But of course such things were not to be done for the daughters – daughters were going to marry other people eventually, so the villagers don’t celebrate the birth of a child who eventually leaves.
But they’d spend money on them getting married! Oh how they would spend. Just like the hanging-lantern-dinner, they’d beg, borrow and pawn to put on a splashy and prosperous celebration for the matrimony of their children. Not just the wedding, mind you – but the whole process, from beginning to end, including the matchmaker to the fortune teller to the dowry gifts. Families were known to be driven to ruin from trying to celebrate the matrimony in grand style.
People get worried when the young folks weren’t married by the time they were in their mid-20s. But these young people who were still kids themselves had no idea what they were doing, I never understood why there was such pressure for them to get married when they were not ready. Parents were concerned that if their children don’t get married quickly, no one would want them – perhaps they were ugly? Poor? Deformed? All kinds of inane doubts would push them to spend all the money they can get their hands on to form a successful match before the child was too told.
You know, Grandpa only got married quite late in his 20s – and there was no end of talk about how long it took me! But you see how I am now – I raised my family of nine children, with none of having to go hungry, even during the difficult days of war. If I had married younger, I wouldn’t have been able to do this. And where would that have left my family then?!
I am happy your cousin took his time to get married – and it’s good that he can afford to celebrate his wedding in style. Greece is a nice place for a honeymoon – your aunt can relax now, her son is off to a good life!
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(1) My cousin (father’s sister’s son) was getting married that day. Grandpa decided not to go to the wedding banquet because it would have been very late at night.
That’s good. Your other aunties told me the food was not so good. I suppose the hotel ballroom was very nice? Very elegant? And your aunty must have been in very good spirits! Even without sleep for nights preparing for this wedding.
You know your aunty has very good fortune in life. She was always very hearty and never fell ill seriously – she won’t get sore throats from eating heaty things, or stomachache from eating cold things. Like you, you see? Also like me.
It’s a lucky thing to have a sturdy and hearty health. People in the Old Village were all like this – they had to be, because there was so much work to be done around the house. You couldn’t take a day off because you were sick – a day off meant nothing to eat! So having many children was a good thing – with more children to help around the house, you could have a chance to rest.
But frankly, there were few that had the ability to feed more than one child. You know in the Old Village, everytime someone had a son, they hung lanterns out in front of their doors, and they’d hire cooks to cater a banquet for everyone in the village! EVERYBODY is invited, whether closely or distantly related, friends and neighbors and farmers and labourers. The quality of the food and the number of tables told people how welcome this new child is in the home, and how much the family is prepared to spend on his upbringing. So when it comes “hanging-lantern-dinner”, some families would spare no expense! Sometimes you had to refill the tables with more food, because people were so happy celebrating they’d forget to go home. Then the family would have to pay extra for more cooks, or send them running into the village market for more groceries
Sometimes family would go into debt, that’s how much they would be spending on these celebratory dinners. They forget how much they’d have to spend to raise a child, and just spent their time and money on that one dinner… some families would save money over a few years, and wait until the child was older before they’d have the hanging-lantern-dinner. Remember that they’d have one dinner per son that was born to the house! So some villagers were in so much debt, that the poorer folks in the village had a running half-joke… “Bear the second son, sell the elder son”. Supposedly to pay for the hanging-lantern-dinner for the second son!
The villagers were like that – very strange way of thinking. Certain things to them were indisputable – had to be done, no two ways about it. But of course such things were not to be done for the daughters – daughters were going to marry other people eventually, so the villagers don’t celebrate the birth of a child who eventually leaves.
But they’d spend money on them getting married! Oh how they would spend. Just like the hanging-lantern-dinner, they’d beg, borrow and pawn to put on a splashy and prosperous celebration for the matrimony of their children. Not just the wedding, mind you – but the whole process, from beginning to end, including the matchmaker to the fortune teller to the dowry gifts. Families were known to be driven to ruin from trying to celebrate the matrimony in grand style.
People get worried when the young folks weren’t married by the time they were in their mid-20s. But these young people who were still kids themselves had no idea what they were doing, I never understood why there was such pressure for them to get married when they were not ready. Parents were concerned that if their children don’t get married quickly, no one would want them – perhaps they were ugly? Poor? Deformed? All kinds of inane doubts would push them to spend all the money they can get their hands on to form a successful match before the child was too told.
You know, Grandpa only got married quite late in his 20s – and there was no end of talk about how long it took me! But you see how I am now – I raised my family of nine children, with none of having to go hungry, even during the difficult days of war. If I had married younger, I wouldn’t have been able to do this. And where would that have left my family then?!
I am happy your cousin took his time to get married – and it’s good that he can afford to celebrate his wedding in style. Greece is a nice place for a honeymoon – your aunt can relax now, her son is off to a good life!
--------------------------
(1) My cousin (father’s sister’s son) was getting married that day. Grandpa decided not to go to the wedding banquet because it would have been very late at night.
posted by tygertyger at 10:49 AM
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